A Cold and Broken Hallelujah: Praying with Leonard Cohen (Archived Post)

The now classic song by Leonard Cohen (who passed from this life, just over a year ago), "Hallelujah," has captured the attention of so many over the years.  It seems to especially resonate at this time of year, owing to a number of covers on Christmas albums and even to a rewritten Christmas parody of the song (https://vimeo.com/55641900).  Yet, even more so, it strikes me as pertinent to the celebration that the Church enters into this weekend: namely Gaudete (Rejoice!)

 Sunday.  There is a kind of darkness, awaiting the Light, to the spirit of Advent.  Yet, it is a darkness filled with HOPE.  This Hope makes possible a mysterious kind of JOY, which can have the effect of confounding the soul in which it arises.  This seems to me to resonate with the "cold and broken alleluia" that the writer recognizes arising from within himself.  Written by a Jewish man who explored a number of other religions, it seems to me to reflect not so much a wrestling with faith as a wrestling with hope.  Yet, it also seems to be a surrender to that hope, allowing it to raise one up to heights not previously imagined as being possible.  What follows is a deeply personal account of how the song affected me, when I spent a lot of time listening to different versions of it back in the summer of 2010.  I don't presume that it reflects the thoughts, beliefs or sentiments of the author himself, especially since our beliefs are quite different. Still, in a manner similar to what I described last month (here), I suspect that in some way I am connecting with something, somehow that touched his heart as well.  It is with profound respect and gratitude that I remember him in my prayers: Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord and let perpetual shine upon him.  May he rest in peace.  Amen.




 “I heard there was a secret chord

That David played and it pleased the Lord

But you don’t really care for music, do You?”

            Lord, desperately I have sought to please You, to find the secret to unlock Your Heart, as the prize which I have won by my own skill and my own talent.  Indeed, Your Heart is the ultimate prize I seek, but I cannot earn it, only receive it as a gift.  What You ask in return is not my gifts, my talents, my accomplishments.  Your Heart desires so much more!  You want me.  Lord, forgive me for withholding this gift from You.  As poor and pathetic of a gift as I know this to be, may I seek to give You Your Heart’s desire without reservation.

“It goes like this

The fourth, the fifth

The minor fall, the major lift”

Lord, time and time again I have failed You.  Time and time again I have fallen.  These falls seem so very insignificant in comparison to the weight of the cross that pushes You to the ground as You ascend to Calvary, or to the disgraceful crown  which pierces Your Sacred Head and drives its thorns deeper as You hit the ground again and again.  Yet, it is my sins that push You to the ground and pierce You so deep.  But, perhaps, I have said enough about my failure; perhaps I have been too enamored with my own song.  Perhaps I have forgotten You. It is You who lifts me from the pit of my own destruction.  You lift me higher than the distance I have fallen.  You lift me to Your Heart.

“The baffled king composes alleluias”

            Lord, Your Love and Power amaze me.  By Your gracious mercy, You make a song which pleases You and brings You honor and glory come forth from my weak, broken heart.  I dare not ask how.  I only say thank You.

“Hallelujah.  Hallelujah.  Hallelujah.”

            Lord, this is all I have left, my very breath.