Fatherhood, Motherhood and Stranger Things

"I give praise to You, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, 

for although You have hidden these things from the wise and the learned 

You have revealed them to the childlike." 

- Matthew 11:25

       The childlike simplicity that increases one's capacity for true wonder plays a role in many great stories over the years.  One great example that comes to mind is the C.S. Lewis fantasy, The Chronicles of Narnia. This is quite a different story from the more recent Netflix sensation, Stranger Things - in fact, it was very tempting to attempt to make this post a comparison and contrast piece between the Pevensie children and the kids from Stranger Things.  The style of the show is more readily and commonly compared to the adventures told from the perspectives of children in the 80's and 90's, especially by Steven Spielberg.  However, another example, which is still closer to the genre than Narnia and probably has not been drawn into comparison as frequently, can be found in the early works of M. Night Shyamalan, such as Signs, Unbreakable and The Sixth Sense. 

      Perhaps the most striking aspect of the role of children in these early Shyamalan works is how the noble simplicity of the children is contrasted, not only with the darkest parts of our broken world, but with the brokenness of the adults, who have been weathered by years of navigating the darkness of the world.  In fact, the role of the children, particularly in the danger of their encounter with the darkness in our world, sometimes becomes the occasion for a sort of reawakening of the goodness and strength in the adults, which had grown dormant.  In fact, it is striking how both Unbreakable (more on this series here) and Signs seem like essentially stories of the restoration of broken fatherhood, with the help of the father's child or children.  The restoration of his fatherhood enables an awakening or reawakening of a deeper strength that enables him to be of service to more than just his family.  It enables him to become a hero and a servant to others.

Perhaps the most striking quote from Signs

       It is hard to miss this dynamic between the children and the adults in Stranger Things.  Most prominently, we have the examples of Joyce Byers and Chief Hopper.  Both are dealing with a lot of brokenness in their lives, both tied to the (feared or actual) loss of a child.  Joyce exhibits many strange behaviors and shows signs of possibly suffering from some mental illness, as most of the other characters presume of her.  However, it becomes clear that her unrelenting motherly devotion to her son and commitment to finding him at all costs - no matter how crazy she appears in the process - has actually made possible a hope within her that enables her to uncover some of the "stranger things" into which her son has become caught up.  Her fearless devotion to the task of finding her son - which most within the town believe to be hopeless - gradually prompts Chief Hopper to take up the task in earnest.  

       When we meet Chief Hopper, he is a rather degenerate character.  We soon learn that at least some of his issues are tied to the loss of his daughter.  While there is still much about that story that is left unlearned by the audience, we do gradually see how his commitment to finding Will and unraveling whatever web the boy has been caught up into renews his concern for his past life and his family.  There is an intriguing sort of redemptive story arc with Chief Hopper, who does become a sort of unlikely hero, as the mystery unravels.  Yet, it is still the case that the primary heroes of the story seem to be the children.  

       The devotion of Mike, Dustin and Lucas to the task of finding their friend continually drives them onward, aided by the childlike worldview that they possess, despite having already encountered much of this world's brokenness (and only finding increasingly more, as the plot thickens).  Yet, to stay on topic, it is worth noting their relationships with their parents.  The only parents we really get to know are those of the Wheelers (Mike & Nancy) and the Byers's (Will & Jonathon).  The Wheeler family is depicted as the typical suburban "happy" "nuclear family."  Dad is distant and aloof, not even noticing how inaccessible he is to his children.  The mother tries to be supportive and understanding, but fails to listen and understand her children, thus failing to really guard them from the brokenness they get swept into.  Still, beside some moments when she really misses the mark, in general it seems she is genuinely doing the best she can.  The Byers family is portrayed as what appears, on the surface, to be the exact opposite.  While we have to look a little deeper to see the brokenness in the Wheeler household, in the Byers home, we meet a mother who is widely considered to be "crazy" (as discussed above), who has already been left by the rather deadbeat dad.  

This is not to literally endorse violence, but simply a firm
rejection of any boy who doesn't treat you with due respect.

       This leaves Jonathan to basically become the responsible adult in the household.  We see how he is dealing with a deal of brokenness of his own.  And yet, he is left to be the one trying to hold the household together.  The teens on the show appear in a unique position in this dynamic between children and adults.  In different ways, they each depict children growing to be adults, each within their own obstacles.  Jonathan's protective and defensive concern for his family is juxtaposed with Nancy, whose lack of feeling understood and affirmed by her family leads to a whole mess of ruin.  Very quickly, we get the impression of a girl who is so starved for affirmation and affection, that she is vulnerable to falling into the arms of a predator.  Make no mistake.  Everything about Steve's behavior reveals a boy whose selfishness and immaturity leads him to take advantage of girls like Nancy (notice how the bedroom scene is interwoven with Barb's abduction - Nancy is being preyed upon).  It is heart-wrenching how easily he charms Nancy, taking advantage of her longing to feel beautiful and loved, despite his total unwillingness to express any noble or clear intentions, not to mention any genuine respect for her.  We will see whether the gradual redemptive arc Steve undergoes is genuine and holds or not.  Nonetheless, if any young ladies are reading this, I beg you not to give any boy who behaves like Steve the time of day.  And to any young men reading this, don't be like Steve; don't necessarily be like Jonathan either, but definitely don't be like Steve.  This is not a love triangle meant to prompt viewers to choose "Team Steve" or "Team Jonathan."  It is also not as simple as Jonathan being the good guy.  He has his darkness too.  But, the relationship between Jonathan, Nancy and Steve is meant to offer contrasting glimpses into how children can respond to brokenness in their own homes and in our world, as they strive to grow into adulthood.

     Lastly, we cannot forget Eleven.  It is with her that we see the most extreme example of a child who lacks the presence of a proper relationship to any parents or other adults.  Even her "powers" are the result of the abuse of her "papa."  Further, we see how her fear of her abusers leads to a reluctance to trust adults.  It is from the other children that she is able to learn about trust and friendship.  Yet, her caution may actually be an appropriate strategy in this extreme situation, due to her awareness of the far reach and deception of those who represent the "bad place" from which she comes.  Fear is sometimes an appropriate reaction, meant to help us make prudent situations in dangerous or difficult situations (for more on a healthy understanding of "negative" emotions like fear, go here).  Yet, we see how the contrast between her fear and the wonder of the other children, who are not only amazed by her "powers" but will not give up their commitment to finding their friend, becomes an obstacle in their quest.  

       Fear and wonder come into contact in the midst of an adventure like this, and we see them both especially alive in children.  Fear offers caution to wonder, while wonder reawakens what fear may seek to destroy, when it is given too much power.  This reawakening results in hope.  Hope helps us move forward, even when fear attempts to freeze us in place.  

Keeping our eyes on Christ helps us not allow fear to take over.

       By the time we reach adulthood, we often have been weathered by the brokenness of the world.  Sometimes wonder at what the Lord can and does do in our lives remains alive in our hearts.  Other times, fear takes over.  Other times, we have not allowed fear to offer us the caution we need.  Thus, we become wounded, not only as the result of our own decisions, but also by the way that others have hurt us.  Think of how Nancy rejects the caution and concern of her friend, Barb, leading her also to shut out her mother.  Still, we have examples like Jonathan, whose own neglect by his parents leaves him vulnerable to developing a pattern of thinking he has to take care of everything himself.

       Meanwhile, in reality, when the Lord calls us to take up our vocation, the question remains of whether we will allow fear to take over or allow hope to embolden us.  In one way or another, we will be called to live, not merely for ourselves, but for God and others.  We see from countless examples, even secular stories like Stranger Things, which allow us a glimpse of the dynamic between children and adults, how our own actions can influence the future of others, especially the children we impact.  Yet, we also see how they can influence us.  We need to allow their wonder to help keep hope alive in our hearts.  As we comfort and encourage them amidst their fears, we can allow even their fears to offer us the caution we need to make responsible decisions.  We are not our own.  May we embrace the life we are called to live for God and others with courage and hope.    

More on Seeing Through the Eyes of a Child>>>

Wolverine: A Man and His Wounds (Archived Post)

        Now seems like the right time to share the first presentation I ever gave at a Pop Culture Symposium (which inspired the Heart Speaking to Heart Symposium, which inspired this blog).  It was a reflection given while I was in seminary, to my brother-seminarians at the time, on themes of masculinity and healing in the character of X-Men's Wolverine.  At the time, the most recent X-Men movie was X-Men Origins: Wolverine.

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       I would like to begin with a word from Scripture.  In Judges 15: 14-15 it says “the ropes around his arms became as flax that is consumed by fire and his bonds melted away from his hands.  Near him was the fresh jawbone of an ass; he reached out, grasped it, and with it killed a thousand men.”  My point in beginning with this is simply this: the character of Wolverine is not original.  Rather, he is cut from the same mold, if you will, as Samson (our hero from Judges 13-16).  I say this not to imply that Samson is merely a literary character.  Rather, I speak primarily in terms of the way that we encounter the character. 

         And of course, Wolverine is not the first character to be cut from the mold of Samson.  Consider those who went before him: First Blood’s Rambo, Die Hard’s John McClane, Walker Texas Ranger’s Chuck Norris, and of course, Team Fist’s George Mahas (this is an inside joke to the community; George is a very mild-mannered friend of ours).  There is something about these characters that intrigues us.

     We look and we think… his feats seem ridiculous… his strength and his rage unparalleled… and he causes us to ask, “Am I supposed to like this guy?”  So, let’s ask for a moment: why do we love Logan, a.k.a Wolverine?  Why is he so popular?  This has been my question for years, ever since I was kid collecting cards and getting up early on Saturday mornings to watch X-Men Animated Series.  I was all about Gambit, Nightcrawler, or even Morph.  But, I could not see why everyone loved Wolverine.  And now, he’s the first of the X-Men to get his own movie, even though Magneto’s story is far more relevant to the series.  So, what is unique about him?  Why do men love Wolverine?  Why do they want to be Wolverine?  After giving this some serious thought and prayer (because I’m a nerd and that’s what nerds do – we take things like comic books really seriously), the suggestion I offer lies with his mutant power: the healing factor.  For anyone who does not know, Logan’s main power, besides the sweet claws and animal instincts, is what’s called a healing factor.  His healing process is accelerated to the point that any wound inflicted on him heals almost instantly.  To put it differently… his wounds do not affect him… healing is not an issue for him… he just keeps going.  I think that the way his character is portrayed both in the Origins movie and the X-Men movies shows that this is more significant than cuts and bruises, but concerns wounds that are not physical, but signify a place of brokenness in one’s life.  Let’s look at one scene in particular.

Logan has just escaped from the hands of William Stryker, the man who lined his skeleton with an indestructible metal known as Adamantium.  Now, Stryker has sent Agent Zero after him.  Logan pones Zero in a sweet helicopter vs. motorcycle battle (no big deal, happens everyday), and that’s where the conversation between Logan, Agent Zero and Stryker over the comm comes in.
There’s a few things to discuss in this scene.  First, consider how Zero mocks Logan: “It’s funny how good, innocent people tend to die around you,” referring most directly to the murder of Kayla, the woman he loved, and also to the sins of his past.  This is a classic image of the villain pressing on the wound of the hero.  Usually, the hero screams in pain, very humanly.  But, not Logan.  His wounds do not affect him.  He blows him up and walks away.  Now, we presume that Zero only knows about the death of Kayla and the work he and Logan did together.  But, this wound (good people always seem to die around you) goes much deeper.  It goes all the way back to his father.  But, Logan does not let it affect him.  He just keeps going.  It’s a powerful image.  But, I hope that it does more than stir our emotions or give us eye candy.  I hope that something in us is intrigued, because, on some level, we want to live that way, but we know we’re made for so much more.  We’re made to  be whole, which demands that we confront our wounds and be healed.

       The starting point for me in preparing this presentation was the thought that, perhaps on some level, we want this healing factor.  We would rather just keep going.  It’s easier than believing that healing requires time, patience, courage, and strength.  It’s easier than believing that healing requires that we be real men.  Remember, our wounds go deeper than blood.  Logan’s went to his father.  We see this in the beginning of the movie.  After the death of his father, his brother convinces him, to put it simply, to just keep going.  Remember Victor’s words:  “You have to be hard now… hard so nothing can ever touch us.”

       I’d like to recall our attention to a C.S. Lewis quote from The Four Loves:  “To love at all is to be vulnerable.  Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken.  If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even an animal.  Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness.  But in that casket – safe, dark, motionless, airless – it will change.  It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.  The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation.  The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.”  Again, I think of how powerful the opening sequence of Wolverine is.  The wound is dealt (at the death of his father) and then you see, over a span of hundreds of years, just how long he has developed this pattern of his wounds not affecting him.  He just keeps going… until it catches up to him.

       Let’s take a look at this quote by Pope Benedict, about the words of St. Thomas concerning the wounds of Christ ("unless I place my finger in His hand and my hand in His side…"):  “From these words emerges the conviction that Jesus can now be recognized by His wounds rather than by His face.  Thomas holds that the signs that confirm Jesus’ identity are now above all His wounds, in which He reveals to us how much He loved us.  In this the Apostle is not mistaken.” Thomas encountered the glorified wounds of Christ.  I love the famous image of Saint Thomas by Caravaggio, as uncomfortable as it is, there’s something about the way Thomas, and even the others appear to be gazing inside the wound.  It reminds me of a personal reflection I have had on this passage as an invitation to place my hand inside the wound to see how deep it goes.  Brothers, our wounds go deeper than we know and our wounds too are meant to be glorified, by the power of His Resurrection.  Having been to the cross, we must show forth the triumph of Christ.  So, we must confront our wounds in order that they may be healed.  We cannot cower from them.

       Returning to our friend Logan, the Origins movie ends with his memory being wiped.  He cannot confront his wounds because he no longer knows what they are.  In the X-Men movies, which follow chronologically, his desire to remember in a sense defines his character.  He’s constantly trying to discover where he comes from.  He accepts the help of Professor X.  He goes on a long journey to Alkali Lake in hopes to find out (between the first and second movies).  Finally, the offer of memory and knowledge of his past is precisely the weapon which Stryker uses in X-Men 2 to try to draw Logan back under his power.  But, the interesting thing is, this is precisely the opposite of his approach in the Origins film, before Logan’s memory is wiped.

       Stryker is continually telling Wolverine he doesn’t want to know.  Consider the clip we already discussed.  It began with Stryker telling Logan, “If you go down this road, you won’t like what you’ll find.”  Here, Stryker gives us a very insightful reflection of the Father of Lies.  “You don’t want to know the depths of your wounds.  You won’t like what you’ll find.  Come down off your cross, Christ.”  It seems to me that the Voice of Truth would rather say: confront your wounds, see how deep they go, and take them to the cross of Christ.  Consider the scene when Logan receives the Adamantium.  What does Stryker say that sends Wolverine into a rage?  “Erase his memory.”  I would argue that it is Logan’s manhood, or even more simply his humanity, that rages against this utter denial of his humanity, to deliberately take from him the knowledge of who he is and where he’s been.  It sheds light on those haunting words of Stryker before Logan is lowered into the tank: “Become the animal.”  We are not animals.  We are men.

       We need to mention the importance of Victor.  Victor also has the healing factor.  But, he uses it for evil, inflicts wounds on others, even seeks ever greater power for himself.  We look at Victor and then we turn and look at the conflict in Logan and we want to believe.  We wonder.  Can he be the other?  Can this power be life-giving, rather than self-serving?  Can he begin to become an expert in healing, rather than simply a man who can do whatever he wants because his wounds do not affect him?  Can he be a hero?  What I love about Logan’s role in the X-Men films is that we see this begin to start happening.  Two images from the X-Men films I’d like to call to our attention.

       First, in the first X-men film, there is a powerful scene with him and Rogue.  Rogue’s power, for anyone who does not know, is that anyone she touches, she absorbs their life energy, which for mutants includes their powers.  In the scene, Wolverine is being haunted, if you will, by a dream of his past, which he does not remember or understand.  He is being assailed by his wounds.  Rogue enters the scene.  She is a beautifully vulnerable little-sister figure to Logan.  In a very real way, she teaches him to be vulnerable.  She enters the scene and tries to wake him from his nightmare.  In a semi-conscious rage, he thrusts his claws into her just above the breast.  She places her hand on the side of his face, absorbing his powers, and she is healed.  Out of his own wounds, Logan still wounds, but he is able to give the power of healing to another.  Granted, he does not choose to do this.  But, consider the question, ‘is it possible for this power to be life-giving, rather than self-serving.’ This scene seems to anticipate the question and offer some hope that this is possible.  I think it can be said even that Logan himself begins to believe this is possible.  This belief begins to take action, at the end of the film, when he does choose to make his healing power a gift.  Fearing that she is already dead, that hope returns to him and he places his hand on her face.  She is healed and he almost loses his life in the process.

The second image is from the end of the second film.  Notice that, in the Origins movie, he’s always seeking to do things on his own.  You see him working with other mutants, but only to the extant that the other is useful to him.  Isolation is one of the worst things for a wound.  However, his time with the X-Men begins to open him up to real relationship.  By the end of X-Men 2, Wolverine finds himself having to choose between staying with his friends or going with the one who claims to be able to tell him who he is.  Stryker asks him, “Who has the answers, Wolverine… those people?”  And, taking a young mutant into his arms he says, “I’ll take my chances with him.”  The image of him carrying the child in his arms is very potent.  Within the broader context of the film, it appears that he’s growing into the role of a kind of fatherhood.

But, I think the movement out of isolation is perhaps the most important element of the growth in Wolverine’s character throughout the X-Men Trilogy.  It’s also present in the Origins film, when he journeys down the road that Stryker tells him not to, he finds great pain, but also that he is not alone in his wounds.  On the island, he finds others who are enslaved by the same power as him and is able to help set them free.  But, after the memory loss, he is thrust back into isolation.  In my opinion, despite heroic moments and definite good in him, the Wolverine of the Origins film is not a hero, in the sense that we can admire him.  But, we can suffer with him.

My main point is this: fallen humanity identifies with wounds and Wolverine offers us an interesting reflection on the relationship between a man and his wounds.  But, it is not the Logan of the Origins film that ought to be our model.  Rather, it is the later Wolverine, who has begun to make his power of healing a gift, to move out of isolation, and to enter into real relationship, who ought to be our hero.  The reason I find this to be relevant to all of us is simple:  the Bride of Christ needs us to be men.  She needs us to confront our wounds, to take them to the cross of Christ, and become experts in healing, in order that the healing power of Christ may flow from us as we grow out of isolation into the role of father.  St. Thomas, Apostle of Great Faith, pray for us!



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